she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
