So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Mom said you looked used
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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