nut hugger
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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