I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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