Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
