Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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