Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
sex in a hospital.. check
I just gargled with NyQuil
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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