I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
