Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
