I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
