I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
