he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
