She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Small penises have feelings too.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
