Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
