Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
