In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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