Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
