Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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