She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
