she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
