The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
