I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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