Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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