so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
