Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
