The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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