i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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