I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize