Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
