NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We have so much sex to catch up on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
