his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
