So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you would pick up someone in the library
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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