Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
