Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
