Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
