hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
there is glitter all over my balls
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