her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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