There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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