Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
