remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you never un-have a 4some
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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