god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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