Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
