what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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