my sisters under your porch take her home
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
