Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
