Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
