grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
