You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
