like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
did i walk over a car last night?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
