That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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